my thoughts @ 10:43 PM

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my thoughts @ 5:24 PM

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They say
"people can change..."

but they also say
"you can't be someone who you're not..."

So how does it work? How can you try and change yourself but knowing that that's who you are and therefore you can't become someone who you're not?! I'm confused.

I critically reflected upon myself tonight and realised there are things I want to change about myself. But I have been like this for the past 21 years. Is it just who I am? Or can I change it?

When you have a problem with someone, its not them who's the problem, its you. You can only control yourself, the things you do and say and the outcomes that follow. If you don't like something, then change it. If you can't change it then change the way you think about it. Everything has two sides to it. It's up to you to choose the brighter side.

my thoughts @ 1:31 AM

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Random thoughts.

I love people who know how to have a decent conversation. i was thinking about it the other night and there are so many elements to a conversation that need to be consider before you can actually have a decent one. Few contributing factors include being a good listener, to be genuinely interested in what others have to say and to show that you're genuinely interested by asking questions about what the other person is talking about. Too many times I've had conversations where people just nod their heads and say 'uh huh' or 'thats good' or 'i see' to everything. How do you expect to have a flowing conversation if all you give are head nods and one worded responses?!

I nearly converted into a Christian today when this really really cute mixed nash missionary guy came and spoke to me at the bus stop. At first I got excited coz there was this really cute guy walking towards me... but then obviously his intentions weren't what i was expecting. haha.
Oh wellz... lolz...

Not feeling so well today. Had a headache all day. Teeth are getting better. Not so sore though it was quite sore today. Maybe coz I've stopped taking panadol. They make me drowsy :S

Working tomorrow and Sunday. And on sunday i have to open up for the very first time!!! OMG! lolz. I'm so nervous... and then if that wasn't enough to make me stress, I also have to close up next week! ARGH! There's all this paper work to be done and counting money and making sure everything's locked and that also means getting rid of last minute customers who always come in when its 9pm... grrrr...

End of year trip isn't going so well... *sigh... I just want to get away with a few friends for a couple of weeks. I wish I had the time and money to go to Italy. That would be awesome!

The end of week 1, semester 2. Time is really flying by. I was sitting on the bus on the way home and I was remembering the time when I used to walk from school to pick up my younger brother and we would catch the bus home. He was only little and me being the good big sister, I always made sure that he would be the one to sit if there were any seats. Now its the other way around. I hardly catch the bus with him anymore but when I do, he always makes sure that I get the seat first while he stands. awwwww... my lil bro is growing up so fast! I love my brothers. I really do. Yes, we fight but that's part of being brothers and sisters. But I have two wonderful brothers who I know will always be there for me.

Suzanne's 21st tomorrow and she's not letting me wear blue! >.< Too bad, I'm gonna be wearing at least a hint of blue.. hahaha :P

my thoughts @ 4:07 PM

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I cant believe that the holidays are over and we're back at uni once again. I feel like i haven't even had a holiday! lolz. I was so busy in the holidays that I didn't realise how fast time had passed me by.

For those of you who dont know yet, I had my wisdom teeth out on Friday morning at 7am! yes, 7am... i had to wake up sooooo early just so i could have surgery on my teeth. Fantastic. Anyways, it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated which was good. I thought I had survived the hardest part of going into theater and having a needle stuck into me to put me asleep. But I can tell you now, the hardest part about getting your wisdom teeth out is not the before the surgery, or straight after. Its the part where you just can eat or talk and you look like you've put on so much weight just in your face! lolz. The pain can get somewhat unbearable, escpecially when you're trying to sleep. I didn't get much sleep the few days after the surgery and I felt horrible. Luckily I have awesome friends who came by to see me and took my mind off the pain a little. Actually, no, they made the pain even worse for me by making me laugh so much. It still hurts now to laugh or even smile. And if I talk for a long period of time it hurts too. I don't wish for anyone to have their wisdom teeth out if it is not necessary. lolz. But one thing I have learnt from all this, is that i appreciate food so much more. haha. How I long to eat something that doesn't have to be in a liquid or mushy form. Though I've savoured a range of nice soups from different places, I miss my meats and my crunchy vegetables and my chewy fruits. I'm hoping by next week my teeth will have recovered enough to get stuck into real solids!

Thanks to Rani, Robean, Sara, Cam, Am and Kelbie for making personal visits to check up on me. It was much appreciated, even though I didn't really want you to see me in my horrible state. lolz. Thanks Rani for your soup, it was yummy! Thanks Sara for making sure I keep up with my fluids, still got half the bottle of water to go... hehe. Thanks to Mel and Al who constantly ask how I am and how my teeth are holding up hehe. I'm so lucky to have friends who care so much about me. Big thanks to you guys *hugglez* And thanks to Jess and Ling who have put up with me having to eat liquid foods for lunch since uni started. haha. I can't even have bubble tea with pearls! >.<

Like I said, hopefully I'll be much better in a few days... so who's up for steak next week?! haha. :P

my thoughts @ 4:12 PM

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Another busy week gone by.

On Monday I worked. It was super quiet. I don't normally work on Mondays but my colleague has gone overseas to Sri Lanka to get married and I had to fill in her shifts. She normally works Monday and Tuesday. I had never worked on a Monday because I always had uni. And now that I am working Mondays, I'm so glad I won't be available when uni starts. It is horribly quiet and boring. Well not that boring coz I have fun people to work with, but when they go on their breaks, it kinda gets lonely all by my lonesome self. lolz. But yeah, I don't think anyone comes out shopping on a Monday, I wonder why. Probably spent all their money on the weekend.

On Tuesday I worked again. Surprise, surprise. And it was slightly better than Monday though still pretty quiet. At night I finally made it to dance. After how many weeks. My choreographer, Jane, made us do sit ups and push ups during our warm up. Having not been dancing for more than 4 weeks, it really showed in the pain the next day. Not so much because of the sit ups, but the push ups really killed my arms. lolz. I was soooo sore. But it was worth it. I missed dance sooo much. I have been so busy and tired that I just haven't had the chance to go all the way to the city. But I caught up with the steps I had missed and have been practicing them ever since. The dance is soooo cool. I won't spoil it and tell you what the dance is about for those who are coming to watch us (that better be everyone who reads this! >.<) We have to do these jumps called 'butterfly kicks'. Don't know how to describe it in words but basically you have to turn in a circle by kicking both legs up in the air one after the other. But you bend your back horizontally while doing so. Hard to imagine? Well yeah, like I said, hard to explain. But I haven't established the art of doing them properly. I'll just be lucky not to fall on my face while I'm attemping to do one! lolz.

Wednesday I went to my friend, Matt's place. I've been meaning to visit him for so long now in his new apartment and I finally made a booking with him, in between my spare time. lolz. He has a beautiful apartment. It's now all fully furnished and looking surprisingly neat and tidy. haha. He has a huge plasma screen that I'm sure will come in handy for all the movies nights he's gonna be organising, rite matty? hehe. Anyways, it was good catching up with him. Shall have to do it again soon.
At night I had to be the mum of the house because mum's not feeling too well. Cooked dinner, took my brother to piano lessons and tidied up the house.

Thursday I went shopping with Melly and her friend. We went to the city to check out the Myer History Making Sale. It wasn't that fantastic as they made it out to be. I've heard lots of people say they were disappointed. Once again, I failed to buy a whole heap of stuff but at the last minute scraped out with a singlet top for $3. lolz. The whole day I didn't buy anything else until again, when we decided to call it a day, I bought a denim jacket from Cotton On. One that i've been eyeing since sales started but have never really tried it on. The sleeves are a tad bit long, but I can deal with that. I was proud of myself that I actually bought it! hehe. Took a lot of convincing from Mel and her friend.

Friday went shopping with mum. She wanted to check out the sales. We came back with 6 bags! haha. But it wasn't full of clothes, it was full of kitchenware. Kitchenware that wasn't even for us! She had bought them as presents for people. I bought a few children's books that were $2 each. But that's about it. Then I had to quickly come home and cook laksa and make jelly slice for Am, Gracey and Kel. It was my first time cooking it and luckily I got approval from all of them. I kinda stuffed up the process by not making sure that the fish were in little pieces. I sorta just chucked the whole pieces of fish in. haha. Oh wellz, nothing that couldn't be fixed.
And I must admit, it did taste quite yummy. So, next pot luck, laksa from me! :D

Saturday I worked and it was the total opposite to Monday. It was flat out! I was busy from the minute I checked in till the minute I checked out. It was crazy! Good, because we made a lot of sales. But bad that I was so tired and had to stay and extra hour because we were so busy. I was so exhausted by the end of the day but I couldn't rest. I had Norman's 21st to go to straight after. I got changed, packed my bag and off to Tina's house to pick her up. I was late picking her up coz I forgot to wrap the present. So had to find wrapping paper that my mum likes to put in the most difficult places which then took me ages to find. Then I couldn't find sticky tape. So I was late picking Tina up. But it was ok, because we had arranged to meet earlier so we weren't late for the party.
Got to Norm's place just in time before Tina and I froze to death outside, lolz. It was freezing! And we were in a skirt and a dress. It was too cold to take out coats off, well for everyone, so bascially we could have walked in wearing our pyjamas and nobody would have known. lolz. It was a good night though. I got to catch up with a lot of my old highschool friends that I hardly see. The group of highschool friends that I used to hang out with during year 8, 9 and 10 were there. It was hard talking at the party because there was so much noise so we finally organised a dinner gathering next week to really sit down and just catch up with everything. We had been meaning to do so since last year and every other time that we bumped into each other at 21st parties. Eventually we made sure we organsied a date and a place before everyone left. So yeah, I'm looking foward to the dinner next Tuesday.

Sunday was my relaxing day. I did nothing at all. But yet I wasn't bored. I cleaned up the house a little. Chatted online for a bit. Ummm... other than that i cant really remember. haha. But it was good not having anything to do. Didn't have to dress up and put make up on to go out, didn't have to stand on my feet serving customers, didn't have to sit in a lecture and pretend to listen. I just did nothing. lolz.

Monday I worked. And yep, you guessed it, it was super quiet again.

Tuesday I was suppose to go to dance but my mummy got sick again so I had to nurse her. I was disappointed that I had gotten ready to go out and then have to stay home. So as soon as mum was in bed and somewhat not in need of me (my younger brother was at home anyways) I called up Tina and asked if she wanted to go hang out. I had been home all day and I just wanted to go out, mainly coz I had planned to in the first place. We had our Tuesday dessert at Airstream and then felt a bit peckish and ate chips as well. haha. We really shouldn't have eaten the chips but we just couldn't resist. Well, I couldn't anyways. lolz. We had a really fun and interesting conversation about the things we want in a guy. haha. Our list wasn't too long, say about 30-40 points?! haha. Not too much to ask, I'm sure. haha. Well we can dream can't we?! haha.

Then today I worked. Was very quiet. No interesting news there.

Phew! That was a lot to get out. A whole week and a bit to update you guys on. haha. Sorry its in one big chunk of text. I haven't had the time to write daily posts. Anyways, when you're bored to can read it properly. One thing I've noticed is that I don't take many pictures anymore. I think I overused my photography skills last year. haha. Will have to get back into it somehow. I think I need my own camera. ;D

my thoughts @ 8:00 PM

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First things first.

So I have been working flat out for the past week... since last Sunday. Nearly everyday I've worked. Good, I suppose, keeps me occupied rather than just sit on my bum all day and do nothing. But it sure is tiring. I guess that's what the working life is going to be like though - minus the weekends. So I better get used to it huh?! lolz.

I was writing up the roster book at work the other day. Ruling up the pages for the up coming months. Did you know that it's nearly August? and then after August is September? What happened to Jan, Feb, Mar, April, May and June?! Where did they go? I have no idea what I have done with my life in the past 6 months and that's scary. The way that the year is going past so quickly and I feel like I've wasted most of it. Well i guess not so much wasted, but more that I haven't been very organised and have wasted time in between other things. Soon it'll be 2007 and I won't know it until it jumps out and surprises me in Jan.

So what's in stalled for me next week? Well, I'll be working Monday and Tuesday. Hopefully go to dance on Tuesday night and Wednesday night. Thursday, shopping with Mel, rite Melly? hehe. Friday night maybe dinner with Kel and Am. Saturday I'll be working and then going to a 21st at night. And sunday, well nothing planned as yet. lolz.

I'm sure I'll be adding to that list as the days pass. Want to make the most of these holidays. After these holidays, its gonna get even busier.

my thoughts @ 11:44 AM

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