it hurts to realise that u have shut me out of your life for good...
you don't know how much that hurts...
and there's nothing i can do about it...

my thoughts @ 8:38 PM

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All my life I have wanted to be a teacher. And now that I finally can be one, a part of me doesn't want to anymore. I want to be a student. I'm too young to be working. I want to be able to get a concession card . I want to be covered by my parents health insurance. I want to go to lectures and tutorials and learn stuff. I want to see my uni friends everyday. I want to have exams and then know I have a 3 month holiday after. I want to go to class at 9am and finish 3 hours later. I want to go to uni balls and dress up. I want to be in Flare. I want to go on teaching placements knowing I can make mistakes.

The only thing I won't miss are assignments.

But then the other part of me is wanting to start work. To have my own class of kids. To teach them things they never knew. To help those with learning difficulties. To make a difference in each child's life. To be remember as one of those 'cool' teachers. To make new friends with collagues. To plan new and exciting activities for the children. To take them on exciting excursions. To set up my own classroom. To be part of a team. To discuss new ideas. To incorporate my own teaching style.

But its scary. And I am really scared. It's my final day of uni today and I am so sad. I feel like crying. Knowing I wont get to see my girls everyday... that's probably the worst part of it all. Everyday I look forward to coming to uni... only to know that whatever happens, I will always have jess and ling to talk to and laugh with. They have been there with me through everything in the last 3 years. So many memories... so many fun moments... lots of laughter... lots of outings... lots of food... haha... our silly chats... our serious ones... omg, I'm gonna miss them so much.

I know we still have our exams left to see each other... and your graduation... but today will be the last day that I get to spend a lecture and tutorial with you guys. Today will be the last day that we attend a lecture for a subject. Today will be the last day that we draw on each others notes during class. Today will be the last day we see all our other coursemates. Today will be the last day where we turn up just so we can take attendance. Today will be the last day that we wait for the lift in the Doug McDonnel building. Today will be the last day that I greet you in the foyer. Today will be the last day of the uni life we will spend together. And that makes me sad. I will miss you girls, dearly. *hugglez*

my thoughts @ 9:09 AM

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Another Flare production has come and gone. And I am starting to feel the withdrawal symptoms knowing that that was my last time in Flare. I'm gonna miss everyone so much. Flare is not just a dance club but a family. I have made so many friends there and I dunno what I'm gonna do next year without them.

On a more happier note, the production was awesome! Especially Saturday night. It was just FUN FUN FUN! We sold out for all three nights! It was so good! Well done to the publicity team and co! We wouldn't have had a full house if it wasn't for you guys!

Thursday night was a bit scary and nerve-wrecking becoz it was the first night. No matter how many times you have performed throughout your life, I think you'll always be nervous to some extent. But i guess thursday wasn't so bad for me coz I didnt have anyone in the audience to perform to. so it was a 'practice' night for me.

Fri night was a different story. My darling glenny peeps came to watch me. It was also the night when we were getting videotaped and i think that just threw everyone off. There were lots of tears, cursing, mistakes, people not performing very well... it was very emotional backstage. And I think it was all because we knew that we were being video taped. It was horrible. I had my moment about 5 mins before the very first piece and I was scared that I wouldn't have enough time to dry my tears and try to look like I hadn't been crying. I was in the front and surely the front row seats would be able to see my teary eyes. But it was ok. I managed to get myself together and perform. But I made lotsa mistakes. And that just made it worse. The only thing that cheered me up that night was taking lotsa photos backstage and seeing my friends afterwards.




Ginnie and I taking photos... '








Our Alias pose! (ginnie looks like she's pouting! haha)







Thank you to Steph, Anna, Carlo, Mel, Kel, Sara and Cam for coming and supporting me. I really really appreciated you guys being there. I hope you guys enjoyed the production.


And to celebrate after, we went to have drinks at KoKo Black on lygon. You can't go there too often.. you'll be sick from the sweetness of all the sugar! =P But it was a good night out. I had just handed in my assignment the night before and I really needed a night out with friends. And going out with friends I haven't seen in a while was good. I miss my glenny peeps.

Saturday was where all the real fun started. Because the video night was over, Sat was just all about having fun, taking more photos and looking foward to the after party.


Another bunch of my dear friends came to support me. My bestest buddies Jess and Ling came to watch me once again. Thank you so much for the flower dears!!! I LOVE IT! *i'm a star* hehe.


Thanks to Sharon, Jez, Robby, Hannah, Jules, Ang, Nick, Adrian, Tim and the girl who I can't remember her name... sorry! >.<

my thoughts @ 9:52 AM

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*random.

*hot hot hot.
summer's coming.
dunno whether that's a good or bad thing.
good at night.
bad in the day.

*tired. exhausted. sick. bad mood.
trying to be in so many places at once doesn't work.
its not possible.
sacrifices must be made
not everyone can be happy with me
trying not to worry about it.

*highschool kids annoyed me today.
common courtesy doesn't seem to be so common with them.

*i know it doesn't mean anything
but it meant something to me
i was glad you spoke to me
its little things like that i appreciate

*friends can surprise you sometimes
with things they say and do...
sometimes good...
sometimes bad...
depends how you deal with it...

Cascada - Everytime we touch <-- love this song! :D (the slow version)

my thoughts @ 3:10 PM

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my thoughts @ 5:04 PM

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I had so much fun last night.

I went out with Sharon and co to Gravitate. Their band was releasing an album and last night was the launch of it. The band is really good... but I must admit, only one person stood out for me. haha. And that was Phanin. Omg!! He has an amazing voice!! I'm totally mesmerized when he sings. It's just beautiful! Too bad he's engaged!! >.< lolz.

Anyways, they had pizza and drinks for people to fill their hungry tum tums afterwards. They had 75 pizza altogether!! haha.. it was crazy! But majority of it got eaten... surprisingly... hehe. And in the midst of all the eating and drinking and socializing, robby got water poured down his back... *grins*.. hahahaha...

Then after everything had been packed away, some of us decided to go hang out somewhere. We took ages to decide where... and because we took ages, I decided that I better go home. I had to call dad to come pick me up. But before I could even dial the number, darling Ang offered, well rather insisted, to take me home... even though she lives in Keybourough!! lolz. Crazy girl. hehe... so in the end, the place where the others had decided to go was cancelled and we went to GJ in glenny. Coz it was so near, I decided to join them. Ang, Jules and I got there first coz we had to drop off someone in glenny. So we ordered drinks first. Then when the others came, we realised that there weren't enough seats for all of us so we decided to go to shine. Ang, jules and i couldn't go into shine until we had finished our drinks coz we felt bad holding GJ's cups. hehe. It looked so funny, us just standing at the entrance of Shine. Looked kinda dodgy actually. lolz. So we moved further down so we didn't look so sus. hehe.

OMG... when you mix ang, jules and i with one creamy hot chocolate and two chai lattes... and standing out in the cold for a little while... watch out! haha. We can do funny things. lolz. They are so much fun to hang around! I don't see these girls often, and to be honest I've never really spoken to Ang properly before, but she was so much fun to talk to. haha. And julie, well she's just julie. haha. I get along with her so well. Poor ang kept picking on her... and i couldn't help but laugh. haha. When we were leaving, Julie bumped into someone she knew. She went off to talk to them while Ang and I went to the car and decided to play a joke on her. We drove down to another carpark where Julie couldn't see us. hahaha. And when we saw her walking towards the other carpark, we got out and asked her where she was going, as if to say we were there all along. haha... it was soooo funny. Julie's so cute. haha. We also took silly photos on jules phone, which i'll have to get off her somehow. hehe.

Oh and coz I don't go often go to Gravitate, they gave me this noodle box as a 'welcome' gift. In it were choccies, a gravitate info book and this:


haha... its like they're saying 'Come to Gravitate and you'll get pregnant!' hahahaha... so all those wanting to become a mum soon... go to gravitate! haha.

my thoughts @ 8:45 AM

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Had our Flare Pre-production Party last night. It was so nice to see everyone all dressed up and looking beautiful! All the guys looked so smart! hehe. Anyways, it was a good night. Lots and lots of photo taking. Sadly I didn't bring my camera so I'll have to get photos of everyone else. But here are a few that were sent to me and others I stole off people. haha.





my thoughts @ 1:53 PM

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